Its been a while since I've posted 110% blotto like that last one. Whew. Anyway - Sorry About that/You're welcome and Happy Halloween.
Perhaps I say:
Despite the fact there's presidential cabinent indictments, I'm fucking drunk. I forgot the point I was going to make or the spelllling of such vernacular, but it had something to do with the fact I've drank too much tonight and I was fighting with the "girlfriend" (quotes on purpose) and I'll wake up and realize I am an asshole on the internet, not to mention in person.
Butt fuck you, (no typo there) I'm drunk and listening to Rilo Kiley and I'm drunk in case I haven't mentioned that lately.
And I'm now officially a myspace whore having posted my whore-like photo and all.
www.myamyspacewhore.com (that may or may not be a real link)
You'd say:
GO TO BED DRUNK ASS.
This headline is funny in that Pithy sort of way if you’re ever spent much time around downtown LA:
Power Restored To Chinatown, Downtown Still Dark
What are the odds of this: Police find a meth lab in Fontana.
The real question is how could a town that is home to NASCAR, countless mullets (known as “Norco neck warmers” in neighboring communities), store coolers full of 24oz single serve malt liquor, cars on cinder blocks in front yards, tons of low-brow gentlemen’s clubs, and the nickname “Fontucky” thrive without a healthy supply of methamphetamines?
Well, as if there wasn’t already sufficient proof that pregnant women make normal women seem reasonable, I spotted this gem on the news wire. The lesson to be learned here is that “Hey, you should really lay off the beer, fatso” is probably not the best remark to utter in front of a pregnant girlfriend when she is starving and wielding a knife. Fortunately for the unnamed 18 year-old victim, his girlfriend isn’t Lorena Bobbitt. She was however, roughly a decade his senior.
1. Airspace exercises to drop references to U.S. Indians. This is a great example of someone being considerably more politically correct and super sensitive than intelligent. It’s not like NORAD naming training missions “Operation Tonto’s Short Bus” or “Operation Siiting Bull Wears Women’s Undergarments.”
2. If you’re thinking about killing yourself, please be more considerate than this woman who caused me and about a million other people to have an hour and a half commute to work, never mind ruining the day for all the people who realized it wasn’t a dog they ran over despite physical similarities.
3. Director Pleads No Contest To Drug Charge. They still arrest people for that?
4. Another reason to hate nerds: Approved Hybrid Drivers Can Use Car Pool Lanes
5. This is another great example of me writing stuff then forgetting about it for weeks and months on end.
After washing away most of the Deep South with a 20-plus foot storm surge, Hurricane Katrina has also washed away a fair amount of common sense. Allow me to demonstrate:
According to Carlson Tucker, he was upset by “people, police officers, members of the National Guard sitting around drinking bottled water and Diet Coke with dead bodies directly in front of them. They made no effort to pick them up and bring them to a refrigerated facility.”
Now, picking up dead bodies might sound like the right thing to do in this situation, but I’m guessing there’s a reason why the DMORT teams wear goddam SPACE SUITS while handling dead bodies that have been floating around in raw sewage for a week. Gee, is it that sewage stains are just so tough to get out of cotton uniforms, or maybe is it raw sewage and dead people are packed with diseases that make Montezuma’s Revenge look like a nice way to spend an evening?
The theme of the past two weeks: My day isn't complete until I've made somebody cry.
I'm not sure if this should be characterized as failure or success.
Perhaps I say:
Despite the fact there's presidential cabinent indictments, I'm fucking drunk. I forgot the point I was going to make or the spelllling of such vernacular, but it had something to do with the fact I've drank too much tonight and I was fighting with the "girlfriend" (quotes on purpose) and I'll wake up and realize I am an asshole on the internet, not to mention in person.
Butt fuck you, (no typo there) I'm drunk and listening to Rilo Kiley and I'm drunk in case I haven't mentioned that lately.
And I'm now officially a myspace whore having posted my whore-like photo and all.
www.myamyspacewhore.com (that may or may not be a real link)
You'd say:
GO TO BED DRUNK ASS.
This headline is funny in that Pithy sort of way if you’re ever spent much time around downtown LA:
Power Restored To Chinatown, Downtown Still Dark
What are the odds of this: Police find a meth lab in Fontana.
The real question is how could a town that is home to NASCAR, countless mullets (known as “Norco neck warmers” in neighboring communities), store coolers full of 24oz single serve malt liquor, cars on cinder blocks in front yards, tons of low-brow gentlemen’s clubs, and the nickname “Fontucky” thrive without a healthy supply of methamphetamines?
Well, as if there wasn’t already sufficient proof that pregnant women make normal women seem reasonable, I spotted this gem on the news wire. The lesson to be learned here is that “Hey, you should really lay off the beer, fatso” is probably not the best remark to utter in front of a pregnant girlfriend when she is starving and wielding a knife. Fortunately for the unnamed 18 year-old victim, his girlfriend isn’t Lorena Bobbitt. She was however, roughly a decade his senior.
1. Airspace exercises to drop references to U.S. Indians. This is a great example of someone being considerably more politically correct and super sensitive than intelligent. It’s not like NORAD naming training missions “Operation Tonto’s Short Bus” or “Operation Siiting Bull Wears Women’s Undergarments.”
2. If you’re thinking about killing yourself, please be more considerate than this woman who caused me and about a million other people to have an hour and a half commute to work, never mind ruining the day for all the people who realized it wasn’t a dog they ran over despite physical similarities.
3. Director Pleads No Contest To Drug Charge. They still arrest people for that?
4. Another reason to hate nerds: Approved Hybrid Drivers Can Use Car Pool Lanes
5. This is another great example of me writing stuff then forgetting about it for weeks and months on end.
After washing away most of the Deep South with a 20-plus foot storm surge, Hurricane Katrina has also washed away a fair amount of common sense. Allow me to demonstrate:
According to Carlson Tucker, he was upset by “people, police officers, members of the National Guard sitting around drinking bottled water and Diet Coke with dead bodies directly in front of them. They made no effort to pick them up and bring them to a refrigerated facility.”
Now, picking up dead bodies might sound like the right thing to do in this situation, but I’m guessing there’s a reason why the DMORT teams wear goddam SPACE SUITS while handling dead bodies that have been floating around in raw sewage for a week. Gee, is it that sewage stains are just so tough to get out of cotton uniforms, or maybe is it raw sewage and dead people are packed with diseases that make Montezuma’s Revenge look like a nice way to spend an evening?
The theme of the past two weeks: My day isn't complete until I've made somebody cry.
I'm not sure if this should be characterized as failure or success.
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